Playboy Magazine, March 2003
A candid conversation with hollywoods next big deal about casual sex, condoms, circumcision, heroin, more sex, ecstasy, porn and, oh yes, pussy ...

You can assume one thing about an actor who chats unapologetically about his tangles with prostitutes, the celebrity images he masturbates to, drugs hes sampled, why hes happy about his foreskin and his best guess as to his co-stars sexual orientation: Hes not an American. Colin Farrell is a straightforward Irish guys guy - he swears a lot, chain-smokes and is frighteningly generous when answering questions about his personal life and career. His performance as a hell-raising Vietnam recruit in Tigerland won comparisons to such badasses as Marlon Brando and Jack Nicholson. Now hes on screen with Al Pacino in the CIA thriller The Recruit and plays the villain in Daredevil, a comic book adaptation that pits him against Ben Affleck. Hell also be in Phone Booth, a controversial (and much-delayed) movie about a sniper.

Farrell, 26, is still new kid in Hollywood, but hes already being paid a reported $8 million to star opposite Samuel L. Jackson in a red-blooded action flick based on the Seventies TV series SWAT.

Farrell worried his mother sick with his carousing, bombed out of school at 17, then lit out to Australia, wild and disorderly, for a year. He returned to Ireland for a stint in drama school but dropped out in 1997 when he won his first movie role in the made-in-Ireland drama Drinking Crude. By the following year, he was a homegrown TV sitcom hero on the hit Ballykissangel, which led to a small role in The War Zone, actor Tim Roths 1999 directorial debut. In London Kevin Spacey was so impressed with Farrell in a stage role as an autistic teen that he recommended him to the director of the 2000 film Ordinary Decent Criminal. That gig landed him an American agent and, soon after, the lead in Joel Schumachers Tigerland and the WWII prison camp movie Harts War, in which he starred as a lieutenant alongside Bruce Willis. Many reviewers said he stole the show from Tom Cruise in Steven Spielbergs Minority Report last summer.

We sent Stephen Rebello to meet Farrell for drinks at his hotel in Santa Monica to find out hes adjusting to being the "next big thing."

PLAYBOY: Room service just brought you six cold bottles of beer. Were sitting on the terrace of your hotel room because its a non-smoking floor and you want a cigarette. This isnt typical health-conscious Los Angeles behavior.

FARRELL: I have two fucking beers at lunchtime in Los Angeles and Ive got an edge all of a sudden. Two beers at lunch and, suddenly, youre a "drinker." I understand the obsession in Hollywood. Its a hard fucking town. So much importance is placed on the physical, the image, how youre doing in life. Salads are huge here. Sushi is huge. Its not how much love you have in your life, its how much money you get paid. Bottled water is huge. For women, its the French manicured nails and the Brazilian bikini wax, the one that gives you the landing-strip pussy. Its not for me.

PLAYBOY: Do you feel out of the place here?

FARRELL: I was with my brother at the Chateau Marmont the other night; its about two in the morning and were having couple of margaritas. Were fucking steaming drunk from drinking all day, and three guys, 30 to 40 years old, sit down at the table beside us. When the gorgeous little Filipino barman comes over and says to them, "Would you guys like anything?" one of them says, "You know what? I think Ill have a large Pellegrino, please." I swear to fuck, Im not one for going. "Come on, man, drink more - do shots!" but then the other guy with him went, "Ill have one of those as well, actually," and the third guys says, "You know what? That sounds really good. Make it three Pellegrinos - large." At two in the morning, how the fuck can a bottle of water sound really good? I understand the health-conscious city, but lifes too short.

PLAYBOY: Does your being a chain-smoker alienate you, too?

FARRELL: My brother and I were having a cigarette outside a hotel when a woman got out of the car with two little boys, six or seven years old. One of the little fellows looked up at my brother and me smoking and said to his mother, "Whats the fire those guys have in their hands?" I shit you not. His mother said, "Oh, nothing. Thats bad, bad." She was right. It is bad. But he had never seen a fucking cigarette at six or seven. Isnt that amazing?

PLAYBOY: Your fingers are pretty scraped up. Are you now or have you ever been a brawler?

FARRELL: Last night I was opening a bottle of fucking beer but I couldnt get the top off and my fingers slipped, I scrapped, yeah. I remember my mother getting a report when I was very young, which she still has: "Colin is getting in too many fights."

PLAYBOY: What were you fighting about? Bullies? Girl troubles?

FARRELL: Girl trouble, for me, is when you fall in love - thats fucking girl trouble. If you have a bad lay, thats not girl trouble. A girl not returning your phone calls or spreading rumors about you, thats not girl trouble, just a pain in the ass. But to fall in love thats girl trouble.

PLAYBOY: When did you first get into that kind of trouble?

FARRELL: I was 16 when I fell in love with a girl named Amelia, who came from this big Portuguese family we were friendly with in Castleknock. Her two brothers, Tony and Chico, are still my best friends, and Amelia married another of my best mates. Am I painting a fucking picture of Dublin as an incestuous fucking place? Because it is. She was the real deal for me. But this one Halloween, Id gotten into a bit of skirmish at school and the next day I heard 20 blokes were looking at me. I was already not getting on great in school, and boarding school had been suggested, so I thought, Fuck it, Ill go to boarding school for a wile and get out of the Dodge.

PLAYBOY: Did you put a damper on you and Amelia?

FARRELL: I was in love with her and besotted by her. Im soft about these things. I found it very hard because I only saw her once a week, on Sunday. I wanted to spend every second with her, but I was in boarding school with bunch of fucking dudes, playing table tennis and bartering for fucking bottles of Coke.

PLAYBOY: Was she the first sexual experience you had?

FARRELL: No, my first was with an Australian woman. I had this friend in school who was a big e-head. I used to be a fucking e-head. I used to smoke fucking puppies like they were fucking candy for two or three years in the Dublin club scene and got completely into it. Youd be fucking doing 15 of these a weekend and you might pop them on Wednesday as well. It was your scene. It was really a way of life, not a weekend-warrior thing. The mates you were hanging out with were all fucking e-heads.

PLAYBOY: So youre saying ecstasy played a part in your losing virginity?

FARRELL: I had a really good mate, Eliot, who was a huge fucking drinker, popping back Guinnesses to beat the band. He knew I was fucking e-head, and hed always say, Youre with all them fucking wankers doing pills, you fucking tosser. Who do fuck you think you are? Why dont you have a fucking drink? I said, We still drink. I tell you what. Some night Ill go out with you and Ill fucking do what you do and someday youll go out and do what I do. So one night we went to the club Id always gone to, a gay club in Dublin called Shaft. After one or two A.M., when the other places closed down, Shaft became gay, straight, whatever. We went there and danced into the wee hours.

PLAYBOY: With each other?

FARRELL: It was close on the floor, but there was no gyrating - or geez, he would have started throwing fists. There would have been killing. It was about 4 A.M. and Eliot was nearly comatose, so I put him in taxi an sent him home because I'd met this Australian woman who was 36 and basically said to me, Do you want to come back to my house and fuck? We went to her place and were lying on the bed kissing and she opened a bottle of champagne which I fucking hate. But I took a sip, and as I did, she reached under the bed and pulled out a wicker basket with about 400 condoms in it different flavors, colors, ribbed. She said, Pick one, and I said to myself, I am in fucking trouble here.

PLAYBOY: And were you?

FARRELL: For about four hours straight. I thought Id found the holy fucking grail.

PLAYBOY: Which condom did you choose?

FARRELL: Oh, God, I didnt choose anything, fucking idiot that I was.

PLAYBOY: Was that the first time that you thought you might have a way with ladies?

FARRELL: I still havent figured that out. I know I am fairly fucking affable bloke and all, but that doesnt always equal charm or a ticket to womans pants. Sometimes you just end up being the nice guy or cute. I remember being 14 in summer school and fancying the fuck out of this beautiful blonde bird named Lisa. I looked like I was 12 years old with my baby face. I remember asking one of her mates to put in a good word for me and she came back with, She thinks youre really cute, but youre just not her type. Fucking bastards. I have never from that day forth felt I had any great understanding of how to charm women or anything like that. But Ive done OK.

PLAYBOY: Would you say that you were precocious?

FARRELL: I didnt start early, though I caught up pretty quick. I see no fucking harm at all in people enjoying each others bodies in a two- or three-hour or 20-minute period. Two people in a bathroom in a nightclub when they both know what theyre doing and are both fucking enjoying it if its on those terms, even the sleaziness of doing it in a bathroom or someones hotel room can be one of the funniest things. Ive always been a firm believer that casual sex is a fucking good thing. There is far too much fun to be derived from it for it to be anything but good. Just put a fucking hat on.

PLAYBOY: Which youre done ever since the Australian woman who had the 400 condoms?

FARRELL: One gets drunk and one is a fucking dickhead from time to time. We all forget. But I try, all the time.

PLAYBOY: If you were to start your won line of condoms, what would you name it?

FARRELL: Dont Forget.

PLAYBOY: Is your success rate with women better since youve become well known?

FARRELL: It is easier for me to get laid in Los Angeles, for sure. When I first came here three years ago, I put myself at the Holiday Inn in Santa Monica and used to go on my own each night to the Third Street Promenade. Some nights Id come home on my own, some nights I would come home with a girl, some nights with a room full of fucking strangers and wed get pissed and stoned and get laugh. Those were great times, particularly because anyone who was nice to me or gave me the time of the day was doing it because they wanted to. They were either bored or lonely like I was. They laughed at my jokes because they thought I was actually funny. Now the lines are crossed. Are people treating you the way they are because of your name or position, whatever that may be? Im a good judge of character. I can look into someones eyes I hope Im not being too nave and know if theyre a good or bad fucking egg.

PLAYBOY: Have your pickup lines changed much since those Holiday Inn days?

FARRELL: I wish I had something like, Shall I phone you or just nudge you for breakfast in the morning? That kind of shit. I am not very good at chatting up or making my way over to someone and going, Hey. If Im introduced to someone and the conversation progresses, fine. Next thing, an hour later, I could be saying, Do you want to go have fucking dinner or drinks or whatever? Im a fucking nerd when it comes to that shit, man, like fucking approaching women and stuff. I leave that to my mates.

PLAYBOY: What makes you most aware of the difference between Irish girls and American girls?

FARRELL: Fucking Brazilian bikini wax, for a start. I ate a lot of pussy at home, but I never saw a vagina until I came here; they were all covered at home. Girls are not as hugely into grooming at home as they are here, which is not a fucking problem at all just different flavors of the same lollipop. In Ireland, theres not so much importance placed on the physical appearance referencing what someone is like as human being. In Ireland, birds are all clean its just that a lot of them have a big, hairy pussies. In Ireland, we think that to have the prettiest toes in the world and the most beautifully groomed pussy does not an interesting, generous, intelligent person make.

PLAYBOY: Any other major differences?

FARRELL: Irish women are really strong compared to American woman. A lot of them have tongues like serpents. Irish girls are great fun. They drink all night and fucking get pissed out of their minds. And if they want to have a row with you, they do. There is a good bit of casual sex and girls are seldom the ones being abused and misused. Theyre just getting off you what you want to get off them. So I love the fucking society there. A one-night stand did never a bad person make.

PLAYBOY: Do you find Americans woman fascinated by an uncircumcised penis?

FARRELL: They are kind of fucking fascinated with a foreskin, arent they? In Ireland, at birth we dont get the tip of our fucking knobs chopped off. I fucking completely disagree with that. People say, Its much cleaner to have no foreskin. What, have you never heard of a fucking shower? Of Q-Tips? Whatever you want to do it, just clean the fucking thing. I was at the party with 20 people, one of them an agent from CAA, when somehow the subject of foreskins came up. She said, I just dont understand a foreskin. Ive never seen one. So I whipped out my dick and said, Here, thats all it is. A bit of skin. I did a little Puppetry of the Penis thing and showed her what it was about. You would have thought she was at a circus the way she was looking at me.

PLAYBOY: Why do actors and prostitutes seem to make good bedfellows?

FARRELL: Its really as fucking simple as sometimes I dont want to go to a bar and get to know someone because I know all Im looking for is the simple act of sexual intimacy. Its like ordering a fucking pizza. Someone comes around, you spend an hour, you have a smoke with them afterward. Its harmless interaction. I have never been with a prostitute that I havent been completely polite to and just treated like fucking human being. Im not a great man for degradation.

PLAYBOY: No leather, whips, clamps, chains and dungeons?

FARRELL: Not yet, but Im young. Ive got time. Ive just got to get that particular phone number.

PLAYBOY: Youre not wary of the hooker going straight to the tabloids about you?

FARRELL: There is safety in the idea of getting a high-class hooker whos going to keep her fucking mouth shout. You do whatever you want to do behind closed doors, and they dont become involved or embroiled in your personal life. Im very fucking flippant with all that shit. I could really give a fuck what people say about me. If there were an article about me in the newspaper saying Irish actor found with prostitute in LA hotel, my mother wouldn't say, I cant believe you did that. She would say, Did you pay by check or fucking cash? Is there a paper record? She knows Im not a bad fucking guy.

PLAYBOY: In 2001 you and actress Amelia Warner were married for approximately four months. How did that affect you?

FARRELL: It was tough. Being in love and then finding yourself not in love as you once were, for me, was a fucking jagged little pill. I couldnt understand it. I couldnt understand how I felt different. I am not going to talk about her, though. Just respect that. Being in love is tough and its gorgeous and Id do it all over again.

PLAYBOY: How did Hollywood impress you when you were growing up?

FARRELL: I was always influenced by Steve McQueen, Brando, Clift. Ernest Borgnine Ive seen in I dont know how many fucking movies. I think I was eight or nine when I had a fucking mad thing for Marilyn Monroe. When I saw her movies, Id just never seen anything like her. I fell madly in love with her and she was actually the first woman I ever fell in love with. I used to leave Smarties, the Irish equivalent of M&Ms, under my pillow with a little note saying, I know youre dead, but these are very fucking tasty and you should come and have a few. I wont tell anyone. Id get pissed off every night when Id go up to bed and the fucking Smarties would still be there. I couldnt figure out why Marilyn didnt just want to take one of my fucking Smarties.

PLAYBOY: Why Marilyn in particular?

FARRELL: Even as a kid, you could look at her on-screen, look into her eyes, her face and see how sweet, insecure, gentle, weak and maybe afraid she was of the whole thing while embracing it with big open arms. Mix that up with the boldness, the dirtiness of her character, the hips, the walk on her, that she was the dirtiest fucking ride and had the fragility of a bird with a fucking clipped wing I mean, that would brake a mans heart every time.

PLAYBOY: Was she a sexual fantasy for you?

FARRELL: Did I ever wank to her? Yeah, I would have, but I would usually just fucking whack off to calendar and magazine girls. Marilyn was more kind of a dream, an idea I would have while lying on my back thinking fucking romantic thoughts. But for wanking material, youd always go to trashy mags. I used to whack off to Naomi Campbell. I went though a year of where I couldnt get her out of my mind. Id think of her and just be touching myself.

PLAYBOY: Have you met her since?

FARRELL: I have, yeah, but I havent told her. There was Linda Fiorentino, too. I used to fucking whack off the her, especially in The Last Seduction. When I met her, I told her.

PLAYBOY: How did that go?

FARRELL: She quite liked the idea. I didnt get a slap in the face, so I think she took it as all right.

PLAYBOY: Have you ever called a phone sex line?

FARRELL: Christ Jesus, yeah man, and theyre terrible fucking things. When I was about 16 or 17, I remember calling them from the downstairs living room of my parents house, trying to whack off. When it didnt work, I had to hang up, go upstairs, grab a fucking porno mag and finish it off with that. Youd want to be in some kind of funky place in your head for sex line to get off, knowing youre probably talking to some bird with a cigarette dangling out of her mouth, finger her nails and looking nothing like shes saying she looks. I never really got off on the fucking thing.

PLAYBOY: What about porno movies?

FARRELL: Yeah, I love porno movies. I always have. Theyre great, great fun. Ive been buying porn movies since I was 14 and found a shop in London and then went to Soho for the first time. I was like, Oh, my God sex everywhere. This is great. I thought I was in heaven.

PLAYBOY: Any favorite titles, either past or present?

FARRELL: No, theyre in constant rotation.

PLAYBOY: You grew up in a fairly cushy Dublin suburb called Castleknock? What sort of trouble did you get into there?

FARRELL: Just the usual little bits and peaces that kids get involved in you know, dabbling in a couple of substances in shouldnt have been doing or getting caught smoking joints, stealing a couple of cans of Coke and 10 packs of cigarettes from a shop. I got arrested for drunk driving and spent night in the clanger. Thy typical clichd growing-up things.

PLAYBOY: When did you start dabbling in illegal substances?

FARRELL: I think I was 14. The first time was at my friends house and we had made a concoction of fucking booze Cointreau, gin, vodka put it in a tankard and got sick as fucking dogs. Then, my friends brother came home with this lump of fucking brown stuff. We knew it was hash and, at 14, oh the fear it gave you that you were, for all intents and purposes, smoking heroin. Anyway, he put the hash in a Bic pen, burned it, and we sucked it and were out of our fucking minds. But probably didnt start buying hash until I was 15 or so.

PLAYBOY: Where did you get your money back then?

FARRELL: I worked in bits and pieces. I was the youngest of the four kids and my mother was always fucking great. She let me get away with murder. I come from real working-class stock. My moms dad was a chauffeur and Im not talking about a fucking stretch limo, either, but a nice Bentley or a Jaguar. My moms mom made all the kids school uniforms in the parlor of the house. Eventually, my father did very well for himself with various jobs, although he didnt start out like that. Were very simple family. We work hard and we play hard. We like to drink and have a good time. I dont come from stock that sits around breaking things down and analyzing life much.

PLAYBOY: Your father, Eamonn, and your Uncle Tommy were well-known football player for the Shamrock Rovers in the Sixties. Did you have to live up to that or live it down?

FARRELL: Geez, I wish I had a fucking penny for every time I said to someone in a bar, My dads Eamonn Farrell and he used to play for the Shamrock Rovers, and they didnt know what the fuck I was talking about. It wasnt like he was a major superstar, but within the right circles, at certain pubs and certain areas of Dublin, youd go in and the old guys would have seen him play football live a crowd of 40,000. I have a big scrapbook of newspaper clippings and his jersey with three shamrocks on the back, in mothballs.

PLAYBOY: How has your mother, Rita, shaped your life?

FARRELL: With strong fucking hands. She is firm believer in whatever fucking makes you happy. She instilled in us all the idea that we could be whatever we wanted to be if we did it for the right reason, out of love or complete hunger for that thing. Shed say she wanted me to be a lawyer, but at the end of the day, youve got to live with yourself. It doesnt matter if youve got a big fucking car and youre getting invited to all the fucking charity balls in the world if youre not happy.

PLAYBOY: You had a hard time in school and got booted out at 17. What was the big offense?

FARRELL: I wasnt going to many classes, I was taking three-hours lunches and getting caught with my friend Eliot and all the lads in the pool hall having a couple of pints, then going back to classes. Im sure people could smell the beer off our breath. The last school I was in was particularly strict, really a bunch of fascists. They had security cameras in the fucking study hall and wed wire ourselves with our stereos, put our hands over our ears and go to sleep. A study supervisor grabbed me one day and I threw him up against the wall, saying, If you ever touch me again, Ill rip your fucking head off. Ill never forget packing my bags and walking out of the school feeling like a fucking rock star. Id been fucking looking forward to getting kicked out of the school for a long time.

PLAYBOY: Did you ever worry youd never find your way?

FARRELL: I never really worried about it, though my mother worried about it for years. I mean, I never really knew Id fucking be sitting up here on the balcony of a fine hotel, having a drink with you and knowing in the morning Im going back t shooting a movie with Samuel L. Jackson. But I knew I would be all right.

PLAYBOY: What happened when you told your father you wanted to be an actor?

FARRELL: He laughed hard and he laughed long, and he said, What do you want to be, a fucking play actor? Then the first paycheck came in, and he slapped me on the back and said, That was a great idea, son. My mother was, from day one, Well, if thats what you want to do, try it.. I had been depressed, just up and down and all over the place. My mother was a nervous wreck. Apart from acting being a big thing for me, it was kind of relief for he because Id found something that I actually liked, that I could throw my energy into.

PLAYBOY: Success found you pretty quickly.

FARRELL: I had four of five great years over there, you know? I was lucky enough to work in Dublin with great actors and on some TV shows. It was like a day job. Id go to work at eight A.M., shoot the show Ballykissangel, wed wrap at five or six, I would come home at the same time the lads had finished installing kitchen and working in the clothes shops and wed all go to the pub. It wasnt like a bog Wow, youre an actor, man type affair.

PLAYBOY: Any problems for you appearing naked on camera in Tigerland?

FARRELL: There was just two girl, two boys, three crew members and Joel. We were all just sitting around naked as fuck, having a laugh. It was not a very sexy environment, man. The say the camera puts on 10 pounds. Not in the fucking nether region. I had a dick like a cashew nut, man. If I could walk around naked all the time, though, I would. The first thing I do when I come home is rip off all the clothes and just plop myself into bed. Not a fucking problem, man.

PLAYBOY: Tom Cruise was your co-star in Minority Report. What was he like?

FARRELL: Extreme positivity. Tom was fucking great on the set to all the actors, the crew. You know all that bullshit about extras not being allowed to look at him? Thats a load of fucking wank. He was generous. Obviously ambitious and very strong and very, very competitive. But really, a very generous fellow.

PLAYBOY: Did you two pal around?

FARRELL: I wouldnt have seen that in a million years. I really had a good time with him, but I dont know him. I mean, hes Tom Cruise. Hes got so much going in his life. I never got to have a drink with him, but why the fuck would he?

PLAYBOY: How many of your friends in Ireland asked you if he was gay?

FARRELL: Quite a few of them. It was one of the first things that they asked.

PLAYBOY: Whatd you tell them?

FARRELL: I said, I dont think so, and I stand by than. Who knows what goes on behind fucking closed doors? But if I were to bet my life on whether he was gay or not, I wouldnt think twice. I would go, I bet my life hes not, and I firmly believe hes not. Look. Ive met fucking guys who are straighter than me and tougher than me suck cock. Theres a guy in Dublin who is so effeminate and extremely camp its hilarious, yet hes very happy, heterosexual married man with two kids. Theres no rhyme or reason to it.

PLAYBOY: You made Harts War with Bruce Willis in Prague. Is it true Willis seldom knew his lines?

FARRELL: He learns them he just fucks them up a lot. But thats funny, and you slag about it. Hes just like me. Prague is mad, mad city. Man, theres fucking darkness to be found in that place. I couldnt wait to get out and I will never go back.

PLAYBOY: Youve worked and continue to work with some very big names. If you were having a really bad night, is there anyone you would call?

FARRELL: Pacino. I wouldnt think twice about picking up the phone. I shot The Recruit with him in Toronto and sometimes he would have to stay over the Four Seasons. Wed race out to the fucking bar and have dinner and talk about scenes, or wed just shoot the shit. He was fucking great with me completely generous, funny and quirky. Hes just a fucking genuine dude, and I had all the time in the world for him. He used to call me Kid, like, Hey, how you doing, kid? and I nearly got a fucking boner every time he said it, you know? Moments like sitting at the Four Seasons with Pacino improvising because the scene were doing the next day isnt as fleshed pit as it should be thats when I think. How the fuck did I ever get here? Didnt finish school. Was told Id be fucking nothing. Told in drama school I mumble too much and wouldnt work, and here I am sitting with Michael Corleone, Scarface. God, thats amazing. I am a lucky little cock.

PLAYBOY: In another one of your new movies, Daredevil, you play the villain Bullseye, a man with deadly aim, to Ben Afflecks blind, acrobatic superhero. How did that go?

FARRELL: That was just a case of Check your subtlety at the door. It was very large, man. I might be ridiculously over-the-top in this one. How could I do character research to play Bullseye? Walk down the Third Street in Santa Monica trying to kill people with fucking safety pins? You just have to go for it. Be large and bask the fact that youre allowed to do it, for once.

PLAYBOY: Any tales of superhero-supervillain bonding between you and Ben Affleck?

FARRELL: I only saw him on the set and hes really lovely fucking dude. I did not get to know him very well at all, but I thought he was dead-on. I did one big fight scene with him and that was good fun. Hes a big fucker, as well six-foot-four or something.

PLAYBOY: Have you ever felt electricity with a female co-star?

FARRELL: Bridget Moynahan is an amazing fucking woman. I had a great time working with her on The Recruit and Im not even talking about chemistry, because nothing happened between us and shes been with a dude for four years, happily. She beautiful, strong as an ox, knows who she is and shes bold as brass-brazen yet shes also as fucking soft and sweet as they come. Working with actresses doesnt get much better that the experience I had working with Bridget Moynahan.

PLAYBOY: Which actresses are on your must work with list?

FARRELL: I love Angelina Jolies work. I think she has an amazing ability to get under the skin of character and do her thing. I would love to work with her and obviously, Halle Berry, whom Ive had a crush on since I was about 12. She seems lovely, a sweet girl.

PLAYBOY: Does she know how you feel about her?

FARRELL: I met Halle when I was up in Toronto on the se of X-Men, but I had four cold sores on my lip and felt like a two-year old. I kept my hand over my mouth, saying, It was really nice to meet you. Really nice to meet you. Oh it was terrible. Im not afraid of telling her. Maybe she reads Playboy. Im sure her husband does.

PLAYBOY: Clearly you enjoy a good drink. Can you work with a buzz on?

FARRELL: I never had a buzz on and worked, Ive dealt with hangovers during works. Bad ones. And Ive worked with them. It gives you little something else to fight against, a little something to play off of. I did a community play once in a park in Sydney, Australia for kids, not a professional theater, and I was stoned out of my head from reefer. Ill never fucking do that again. I was just freaked. I could hear every word coming out of my mouth. I couldnt spit out the words fast enough.

PLAYBOY: Does coke scare you?

FARRELL: I wouldnt touch that fucking shit. Cocaine would be the road to ruin for me.

PLAYBOY: Because youd like it too much?

FARRELL: Yeah, Id get addicted. A great friend of mine in Dublin is a driver and all he said to me was, When you get to Hollywood, if I ever hear youre on that white powder, Ill fucking rip your head off. Hes dead right, because he knows Im as bold as brass.

PLAYBOY: And what about heroin?

FARRELL: Heroins fine in moderation.

PLAYBOY: Is there anything else that scares you?

FARRELL: Commercial fucking airplanes. I hate flying, I get sweaty palms, I hear every fucking noise. I usually get out of my head and just go unconscious or start tripping. My sister hates flying with me because I end up doing too much Dramamine or sleeping pills that I mix with booze so I dont know anything thats going on. Its a big fucking train flying through the air and I hate it. I find it most unnatural fucking thing in the world. (A helicopter flies over head) Theres a fucking disaster waiting to happen.

PLAYBOY: What would you be doing right now if you were in Ireland?

FARRELL: Id be drinking pints of Carlsberg. I genuinely miss the normality of going up to the fucking pub at seven or eight every evening, having five or six pints and carrying on the same conversation for 15 fucking years with the same mates, laughing about stupid shit. A lot of people here work their asses off during week and go fucking bananas on weekends. We work our asses off as well, but every weeknight, we go and have a few pints with a dinner of lasagna or some fucking chips, fucking chicken Kiev or a big stake with some fucking sauted onions. I miss that, big time.

PLAYBOY: You grew up far from the troubles that have plagued Northern Ireland for so long. Still, you must have taken a stand on this issue.

FARRELL: In an ideal word, it would be nice for Ireland to be one county because its such a pretty fucking island. But I dont live up there, so its not about me. It was never on my porch, never on my front doorstep. But it would affect you, you know, an inordinate amount because at the end of the day, its your Ireland, your country, your people, whether they pledge allegiance to the queen or not. They have Northern Irish accents, theyre Irish people and theyre fucking going bananas on each other.

PLAYBOY: What are your feelings about the IRA?

FARRELL: A bunch of fucking scumbags and terrorists thats all there is to it. You cannot fucking put a bomb on a crowded street and kill a lot of men, women and children and call your cause just. There is not fucking justification for that. A hit is different thing. Its still wrong to take another life, but a hit is a decision made to take one person for a particular reason. Im not condoning it, but thats much easier to justify than what IRA has gotten involved in.

PLAYBOY: Would you go to war?

FARRELL: If somebody ever harmed any of my family, I would always fight for what I believe in. if I were alive in 1910, I would have been in the bushes with a rifle trying to kick the English out of my country back in the day when we were being suppressed. But as for war, the repercussions are very real. The blood is read and real and doesnt dry as quick as you might think.

PLAYBOY: Whats the best thing about having money?

FARRELL: I really dont want that much. A few beers, a packet of smokes and Im a happy fucking boy. The able to so that and be able to send my mother this or that or, when shes here, to send her down to a spa for a fucking $400 six hours of manicures, pedicures, every cure. Oh, fucking man, you cannot get her out of there. She loves it. What else do I need?

PLAYBOY: All if all the jobs, the fame, the opportunities were to end?

FARRELL: I love my job and I take it much more serious than I take myself. I think Ill probably want to do this for a long while. But if it were all to end tomorrow, I would go home. Id write. Id open a pub called Flaggers, from Flagge, a nickname one of the lads have me as kind. That would be grand. But its nice to know my level of grandness would be made easier by the amount of money Id earned in the past few years. If I decide to pack this in, or the opportunity to do this was taken away from me, its nice to know I have enough of money to be sure my kids would have an education. And there would always he a house with food, clothes and central heating. And my beers and smokes. Id have some great stories, too.

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